Friday, June 09, 2006

how let's not get ahead of ourselves

but i like that 21-year-old mets phenom lastings milledge is now in the same class as chuck norris and jack bauer.


Lastings Milledge Facts:

1. Lastings Milledge isn't a 5 tool player. Lastings Milledge has more than 100 tools, many of which are unknown to most baseball scouts.

2. Lastings Milledge wasn’t slapping fives with fans after his first big league homerun. He was healing lepers and cripples.

3. Keith Hernandez thinks a girl’s place is in the dugout as long as they're on the arm of Lastings Milledge.

4. Lastings Milledge doesn’t hit 8th. Those seven other guys are just warming up the pitcher for the first real at bat of the game.

5. Shea Stadium is no longer known as a pitcher’s park now that Lastings Milledge hits there.

6. Lastings Milledge can fix Victor Zambrano in ten minutes.

7. Lastings Milledge has taught Willie Randolph how to execute a double switch.

8. Johnny Damon wishes he can have Lastings Milledge’s hair.

9. When Steve Trachsel deliberates on the mound, he’s thinking of all the ways Lastings Milledge will help the Mets win.

10. Light has to kick it into high gear just to try and keep up with Lastings Milledge’s bat speed.

11. Lastings Milledge’s three children will be named Turner, Citizen’s Bank and the House That Ruth Built.

12. Lastings Milledge also has an illegitimate child. He was born in 1895 and his name is Babe Ruth.

13. Billy Wagner likes to warm up just to watch Lastings Milledge play right field.

14. Alex Ochoa and Alex Escobar carry pictures of Lastings Milledge in their wallet to remind them of the players they should have become.

15. Confucius quotes Lastings Milledge.

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