When my mom passed away, my first reaction was to cancel this party. This day meant so much to her and that having it without her would just seem wrong. But then Sue said, “We better have this party because Mom would be pissed”. I laughed, because it was true. She would be pissed.
I didn’t know then, but now, I completely understand why.
My original interpretation of this party was to introduce Lisa and Wyatt to their New York family. It wouldn’t be a wedding. We had one of those last year. But it would be a grand introduction of two amazing and wonderful people to a hundred more amazing and wonderful people with funny accents.
But, the night after my Mom passed, I rethought it. And, whether it was a divine inspiration from Mom or just seeing things differently, I realized that the point of this party was to be an opportunity for my Mom to show everyone how proud she was.
But, in the months since, I realize now that even that was off.
Let me explain.
You see, my mom had two sons.
One of them met the love of his life when he was eighteen. She was everything a mother could ask her son to meet and he did the smart thing by marrying her the first chance he got right after he graduated college. They bought a house a mile from her. And then, soon after, they gave her her first grandson. And then, her first granddaughter. He became vice president at an early age, and was in complete control of his future. He proved to her that he could be successful in life and in work. With that son, she had nothing to worry about.
She also had another son. He lived three thousand miles away. He had a job that she only somewhat understood and he took jobs based not on money but on the types of ads he could make. Weird. He dated, but he was cryptic about it because he didn’t want to get her hopes up. Maybe he was gay? If he was, that’s okay. But she knew he wasn’t. Hopefully. Her son then turned 32, and he seemed to be in the same exact position he was when he was 26. She had everything to worry about.
But here’s where the story takes a twist. He met a woman, someone who was everything a mother could ask her son to meet. He did the smart thing by knocking her up the first chance he got right after they fell deeply in love. They got married. They settled in. And then, soon after, they gave her her second grandson. And all the sacrifices he made in his career came to fruition when he became an associate creative director working on his dream job. He proved to her that he could be successful in life and in work.
Suddenly, she had two sons with nothing to worry about.
And once I wrote this out, it was suddenly crystal clear to me. This party is not about my mother showing everyone how proud she was.
This party is about my mother showing everyone how relieved she was.
So let’s have fun. Because, you know, right now, mom is partying her tail off. And, knowing her, she’s playing much better music.