Wednesday, June 21, 2006

how i've noticed things while working in chinatown

and here's a list of them:

1. seriously, enough with the retro 80s vans slip-on shoes. enough. i would wear them at 80s parties because i was making fun of the 80s. they were ironic because, at one point, we thought they looked good, and then time proved those tastes wrong. but now, they look good? c'mon. they don't. you're just wearing them because they're in. stop it.

2. i might get ripped a new one for this, but i'll say it: if you're walking on a tight sidewalk in a tourist part of the city, and you're among a group of people who are abnormally overweight and it causes you to walk at an abnormally slow pace, please, for the love of god, keep in a single file. there are people behind you that want to get by. i know it sounds mean, but if i were seven feet tall, i would be so aware of my size that i would sit in the back of a movie theater. single file. that's all i ask.

3. under "occupation" in their tax forms, do vendors in chinatown put "trinket salesman"?

4. if there is no chinese word for "schedule", then why are elderly chinese women always in a rush? and why do they have to take out my knees to get to where they're going?

5. no city is as glorious as san francisco when the temperature is in the 70s.

that's all i got. it's all off my chest.

i feel emancipated.

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