Thursday, February 02, 2006

how to make super bowl predictions

i have received thousands upon thousands of e-mails from my very loyal letters asking me to reveal my predictions for the big game on sunday. and, after countless hours of research, i've come to a conclusion.

take it to the bank or to your local bookie. these are confirmed. these are can't miss locks.

okay, get your pen and paper out, because it's time for STEVE'S CAN'T MISS LOCK 100% CORRECT SUPER BOWL PREDICTIONS OF TRUTH!

drumroll please...

prediction #1: there will be a very bad pass interference call that will eventually lead to a touchdown.

and prediction #2: another touchdown will be called back due to a phantom holding call.

those two are indisputable.

this following prediction is 50/50: a play will not be overturned on instant replay, even though there's enough conclusive visual evidence to do so.

i know most of you are in shock over these predictions, but unlike most prognosticators, i will reveal my data.

like many others, i have had teams of highly-paid researchers working around the clock on this, and the numbers prove that in the 2005 season, the officials suck male sexual organs.

also, the over/under is 17 on the amount of mentions that jerome bettis is playing in his hometown.

there you have it.

oh yeah, the steelers win 27-23, but i wouldn't put any money on that.

and, most importantly, the best commercial will be my buddy will's "emerald nuts" spot. i've been told that it's completely insane. sweet.

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