Friday, October 21, 2005

how to make those three hours tolerable

random thoughts from jury selection, which lasts every day from 1:30 to 4:30:

1. if someone really wants to be excused from a jury, they will go to all ends to do it. they will say anything. they will admit to anything. and i'm not talking about the bullshit racist comments. there've been none of those. i'm talking ridiculous statements and rationalizations.

2. busy female lawyers don't dress well. in fact, i hold their outfits in contempt.

3. when the judge needs to call some more prospective jurors from the jury pool, everyone in the audience makes themselves as small as possible - even though their names are pulled from a random list. for reference, their reaction is the exact opposite than the audience from "the price is right".

4. stupid people put themselves into stupid situations where stupid things happen to them. it's amazing to see how bad things happen to people when they do nothing to stop them from happening - or are always open for them. san francisco is "jerry springer" but the trailers are victorians. by the way, i'm just talking about the prospective jurors. i can't wait for the accused's story.

5. there are a lot of gay people in san francisco and i'm actually shocked by it. i know it's their mecca, but i'm blown away at how many there are in a random selection. and by "blown away", i'm using that term metaphorically.

6. i can see why judge judy has a temper.

4 comments:

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Single, Party of One said...

You could try my personal favorite ridiculous-comment fallbacks (ripped from Austin Powers): Tell them you invented the question mark, then accuse chestnuts of being lazy. And make sure you wear your meat helmet while you do all this.

Juror prospect #89: dismissed.