Monday, October 24, 2005

how grobanites need a serious dose of reality

first off, i would like to thank each and every grobanite who took the time to read my blog and then comment on it (read post below). i respect all of your opinions, and respecting my opinion means i should respect yours.

having said that, you are all out of your minds.

i never said that josh groban had a bad voice. reread my post. in fact, he's got a fantastic voice. he's a great vocalist. but instead of singing the song, he decided instead to show off his voice. and whenever a vocalist makes that decision, it results in them crapping the bed.

the best version of the star-spangled banner that i ever heard was whitney houston's version, right before super bowl xxv in 1991, mainly because she sang that song exactly how it was meant to be sang. you see, that's the beauty of it. it's arranged in a certain way for words to be accentuated, for emotions to be felt and, most importantly, for the whole song to be sold as genuine. and by singing it the way it was meant to be sung, she blew everyone away.

which is ironic, because she has made a career of showing off her voice rather than singing a song.

you see, there are vocalists and there are singers. you might not think there's a difference, but there is. the best way to explain it is with the song "i will always love you", sung by both dolly parton (who wrote it) and, again, by whitney houston.

when you hear dolly's version, you hear the desperation and the loneliness and the hurt of the words. the lyrics dictate how dolly sang it. there's genuine pain in the words and thoughts and in how dolly used her voice to sell that. granted, she wrote the song, but the template was made for future singers. she sang the shit out of it. you completely feel every nuance.

whitney's version, however, is completely devoid of pain or any sort of emotions. her voice does give you goosebumps, i agree, but that's not the point: she used the lyrics to show off her voice to the extreme where the emphasis of the song was completely lost. but that's okay for whitney; the song wasn't what she wanted to show off anyways. you see, using the musical arrangement of that song behind her, she could have read the words to the declaration of independence or the back of a cereal box and her vocalization wouldn't have changed. the lyrics were incidental. she used the song to vocalize. she used the song to show-off. the song was irrelevant.

huge difference between the two versions. listen to them both and tell me that i'm wrong. you can't.

and that's exactly what i felt about josh groban's performance, or anyone's performance when they change the singing of the star spangled banner for the mere purpose of showing off their voice. it cheapens the song, and it's never ever better.

and, most importantly, it always ends up with the vocalist crapping the bed in front of an entire nation and with a crowd full of people rolling their eyes and saying "what is this asshole doing?" but that's okay. they've all got loyal fans who will continue to buy their brand of vocalizations. and that's their right. more power to them.

kudos to all you out there for supporting him. that's admirable.

but a bed has been crapped upon.

he crapped the bed.

america's bed.

now with his crap on it.

so that's my point: a singer is able to adapt their voice to the song. a vocalist just does their thing, no matter what is warranted. he vocalized the song, and an injustice was done to it. and that's a shame.

if you think that he sang the best performance of that version of the national anthem, then go for it. i agree with you, and i would rather not hear that version ever again.

but let's be real here: it's safe to say that you also believe that if josh groban pitched for the astros, he would have pitched a no-hitter. or that if josh groban did the play-by-play, he would have predicted everything right before it happened.

so everything i've read has been taken with a mountain of salt.

i'm sure that i've now pissed you all off more. so be it. can't say i've been trembling much. then again, i've also now probably pissed off the "friends of whitney houston" group. that actually scares me more. she's craaaazy.

so, to recap and to respond to your thoughtful comments:

- yes, i would have done a better job at singing the national anthem, mostly because i would have sung the national anthem. and this is coming from someone with a horrible voice.

- i have a huge appreciation in music, mostly because it's part of my job to work with music and work with composers in coming up with original songs or adaptions of old songs. yeah, i know what i'm talking about. and i understand why some things should be left alone. i understand updating things to make them better. but there has to be a reason for it, other than showing off.

- he crapped the bed.

- you all obviously like the way that smells.

14 comments:

MathCzyk said...

Hi. Sorry about all of the comments from the "Grobanites." I consider myself a Josh fan, but a lot of these responses embarass me. Please know that we're not all crazy :)
Josh is a great singer; we liked his version - you didn't. We all need to get over it. I hope Josh doesn't get a bad name from all of this. He seems like a pretty laid back guy, and I'm sure he'd be embarassed that his fans had acted this way.

steveohville speakeasy said...

hey, no problem. from what i've seen and heard from him, he seems like an all right guy, and i don't think any worse of him. the "flogging" was obviously a joke. and i'm shocked that someone actually reads this blog anyways. how did someone come across it anyways?

MathCzyk said...

ha ha ha..."how did someone come across it"

You have to realize that we really are obsessed with Josh :) I came across this blog because I did a google search on Josh's name...just to see if people liked the national anthem as much as I did. I admit it, I have a problem ;)

Erik said...

Apparently, nowadays, instead of spending inordinate amounts of time on the phone young, misty-eyed, romance-starved young women now type incessantly on blogs. The question is, have they learned to type faster than their predecessors pre-pubescent voices could chirp away?

Anyway, I have personally heard Steve sing, and besides that little fleck of white saliva that builds up in the dark recesses of the corner of his mouth he's tone deaf. ‘Nuff said.

MathCzyk said...

Hi Erik,

I have to say one more thing in my defense...I'm the LEAST romantic person you will ever encounter. When I was a teenager and we used to watch movies with the big sappy kissing scene at the end, I'd always be like "when's the hockey game start?" And I don't want to grow up and marry Josh :) Josh really isn't that romantic either. Most of his songs are sad. I like him for his voice, song-writing ability, and his sense of humor about himself.
Ok. I'm done now. I promise!

Josh Grobin said...

Hi everyone... I'm glad that we are all one happy family now. I was getting so upset that my curls started straightening out. Anyway, if anyone is interested, I'll be singing the Canadian national anthem tomorrow night before the Maple Leafs - Blue Jackets game, then going on a worldwide tour singing the anthems of Bulgaria, Estonia, and Turkey. See you there!!

missie said...

Erik-- sadly, most of his fans are "older than my grandma" women.. they are ancient.


oh, and I am just about done copy and pasting the stuff from the site. you'll get a laugh man

E. Diddy said...

steve - you are so right. about dolly that is. she is the queen! always will be. i am SO sad to have missed her in the park a few weeks back. whitney is a cracker. and josh? who cares about josh. hope you're well. - ericka

brewsb said...

Hey Steveoh - Another reason not to fuck with our Nat'l Anthem at the ballpark is that everyone is encouraged to sing along, but can't do it if the entire thing has been rearranged. Kinda sucks when the singer or should I say "vocal stylings of so and so" take that away from the crowd.

Erik said...

BTW, The wife saw Josh Groban last night. Actually, she stood next to him for a bit. Don't know if they talked, but it was at an Imogen Heap event. Too bad I wasn't there. I could have created a blog controversy.

Anyway, when are Charlotte Church and Josh Groban doiing a "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" duet?

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