Sunday, August 28, 2005

how to return volley

this happened to me and my carlos beltran shirt while on line in the men's bathroom after the mets lost to the giants.

DRUNKARD: hey, how's that beltran shirt paying off?

i ignore him because although his team won, my team is still 10 games better than his.

DRUNKARD: hey, beltran, wish you didn't pay for that shirt, huh? 13 homers and 60 rbis suck.

i ignore him again. everyone knows that beltran is having a crappy year.

DRUNKARD: hey, how's that beltran shirt paying off?

okay, now i've had enough. so i turn around and say

STEVE: dude, you're wearing a barry bonds hat.


here's a couple of rules about heckling:
1. if your team craps the bed, it's a good idea to shut up.
2. if you're gonna rag on a player, don't wear anything that says barry bonds on it. it's like a michael jackson fan making fun of clay aiken. plus, even if my guy has 13 homers and 60 rbis, that makes it 13 homers and 60 rbis more than your guy has this year. so shut up.
3. i'm quicker than you.

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