Thursday, August 11, 2005

how contingency plans may be warranted

i'm going to vegas this weekend for a bachelor party.

with vegas being vegas and with this being a bachelor party, i've decided to leave a little last will and testament, in the off-chance that roy's tiger goes on a rampage or that don rickels' head explodes and severs my neck (of course, anyone who even remotely thinks that i'm gonna be in the vicinity of roy horn or don rickels in vegas should please remove this blog from their bookmarks and never speak to me again).

okay, so here's everything i own. divvy it up amongst yourselves. it's not much, but it's all i got.

- my weekly bout with insomnia
- terrible balance
- the ability to mess up sentences
- white nosehairs that grow faster than the black ones
- ligaments that snap when i walk
- heavy footsteps
- farts that sound like a tuba

please, share and share alike. and if i make it back from vegas, in one piece or at least in a couple, then you're just gonna have to buckle up and wait a little longer.


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