seriously, i was squarely within level 8 kotter, and slowly but surely making my way towards level 9 kotter, which would put me under direct police supervision.
and really, wouldn't you keep a sharp eye on a dude with this on his head?
aaaaanyway, since i left work early, and it was such a nice day, i decided to stop off in cole valley at a boutique called "the mane attraction" (yes, i'm aware of the pun). i asked if they had any openings; they had.
they saw the dilemma on top of my head, and quickly sprung to action, as if there were a doubt.
you see, who else better to attack a level 8 kotter than a gay black man with curly hair?
unfortunately, he wasn't freddie "boom boom" washington. in fact, he had the style of lenny kravitz, but was the bastard child of eddy grant ("electric avenue" singer) and sheryl lee ralph ("it's a living") - but more her than him.
chop chop chop buzz chop chop.
i usually have this irrational fear that a hair stylist is able to read my thoughts as they cut my hair, that all my secret information would be released, follicle by follicle. as i began to worry about my really quick observation about my hair cutter, i suddenly began to think that maybe, just maybe, he would get mad and seek revenge (or turned on and seek a thrill). but then another stylist (a gay man with straight blond hair and candy striped pants - that was not a joke) quickly showed me a photo of jackie onassis and informed me that she is how a first lady should look like, as if i cared.
obviously, he misread my mind.
anyway, it worked. i'm now back to a very respectable level 3 kotter. i can now walk the streets without suspicion.
i thank you. the world thanks you.
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