how i'm taking applications for someone to be my pissboy

my father's been researching his geneology past what we already knew, and, to make a long story short, my great-great-grandmother's name was benedetta bologna, and she was born, raised and died in a town called capaci.

my father then did some research about capaci. the town relies on farming, fishing and tourism for its economy. it first appeared as a known town in 1241 and was awarded as a fiefdom to francesco beccadelli bologna in 1556 where he became the first baron of capaci.

since there weren't many people in that town then or now - currently, there's only 11,000 people - it really isn't that much of a stretch to say that my great-great-grandmother, benedetta bologna, might have been a baroness of capaci.

i don't know what the rights of decendency is or were, but please, just as a precaution, take a knee and kiss my ring when you're in my presence.

that's all i'm saying.