Wednesday, July 27, 2005

how looks are not always deceiving

on the train ride home yesterday, i noticed a fairly attractive woman standing with her back against the door. she was listening to her i-pod while keeping her head down, nodding subtlely to the beat in her ears. the train was packed, but she already staked out her space. she was comfortable.

we pulled out from the tunnel and into the sunlight. she kept her head down, still nodding, until the moment we came to the stop and the door opened. she back away, and our eyes caught.

that's when i noticed her very light mustache.

it wasn't a selleck. it wasn't a rollie fingers. it was more along the lines of a mustache that don johnson would grow if don johnson would grow a mustache (and you know that DJ has probably tried). think an editor of a porn film who can quote mace windu.

i stared at the 'stache. then again, i stare at every 'stache. i inspected it from every angle. i noticed the whisker quality. yes, i concur, that is a mustache. there is no mistaking.

then i remembered that i live in san francisco.

she might be a he. trust me, this isn't a rarity.

so i looked for any evidence. she had no adam's apple. she actually had a very feminine frame. she was conservatively dressed, meaning she was not going out of her way to look like a female. her jaw was normal. if she was a he, then i would have been duped.

then i wondered: if she were really a he, wouldn't he have just shaved his mustache? men shave; it's part of their daily routine. it's gonna grow back anyway; shaving daily, if he were a she, wouldn't be a big deal. you admit to nothing other than hair grows. then again, if you take estrogen shots, does hair stop growing on your upper lip? is that the way it works? what if it doesn't? if a man doesn't want to shave, could he get it waxed off?

yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is how i spent the last fifteen minutes of my train ride yesterday.

i hope this explains a lot about me.

1 comment:

thecroz said...

That doesn't explain anything. It only adds to the questions we all have about you. The mystery of Steveoh grows with each passing day. Or maybe just your senility...