Tuesday, April 17, 2007

how i felt guilty

i was watching "countdown with keith olbermann" about the horrifying virginia tech massacre, and he had on some reporter who was on scene. the reporter was giving an update/recap on what had happened while giving his insights and opinions.

it was probably a very good report. unfortunately, i can't comment on it.

you see, this reporter had the very common vocal quirk of saying "awwh" or "ummm" after every fourth or fifth word.

but his "awwh" or "ummm" sounded exactly like a horn honking.

or a game show buzzer indicating that you're wrong.

or a clown's foot being stepped on.

or an orgasmic donkey in the moment.

i tried to listen to what he was saying, but all i heard were the noises he was making. nonstop. for a good five minutes. and, after a hard battle, i laughed. i tried not to, but i laughed. not at what he was reporting, but at his nasal nervous cacophony.


dear msnbc: please don't put this reporter on the scene of something so horrible again. you made me feel guilty. and i know i'm not alone.

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