Wednesday, April 04, 2007

how i actually had these two conversations in one day

scene: JFK airport, metal detector, special secruity measures area

STEVE, a young charming man in his early thirties but who could easily pass for mid-twenties, is part of a randomly chosen secruity measure where he and his belongings are thoroughly searched.

a SECURITY OFFICER gives him the rundown with the secruity wand. he instructs steve to sit. all is well, until...

SECURITY GUARD: "oh snap!"
STEVE: "what?"
SECURITY GUARD: "where'd you get dose?"
STEVE: (nervously) "i'm sorry, but...what are you talking about?
SECURITY GUARD: (pointing at steve's possessions in a bin) "dose! where'd you get dose?"

steve looks and sees his mess: a belt, his laptop, his hoodie and his kicks.

STEVE: "you mean the nikes?"
SECURITY GUARD: "oh snap! i ain't seen dose before! dey ain't out yet, are dey?"
STEVE: "nah, i got them before they hit the streets."
SECURITY GUARD: "word? how you do dat?"
STEVE: "i'm a freelance writer for nike and i get access to..."
SECURITY GUARD: "word up? i ain't never seen dose nikes before. i'm a nike shoe head. i love dem sneaks. i had me some of dose andre agassi kicks back in da day. yo, can i put your e-mail address in my sidekick?
STEVE: "dude, i can't do that."
SECURITY GUARD: "why not?"
STEVE: "because they're just for employees only."
SECURITY GUARD: "oh snap."


seven hours later.

scene: taxicab in san francisco, en route from oakland international airport.

STEVE, a dashing writer with muscles and charisma galore, sits in the back seat of his cab. he just let his project manager, JAMIE, off at her place after a three-day work jaunt to new york city. their CABBIE had driven quietly throughout the journey, but as soon as jamie was dropped off...

CABBIE: "you come back from new york, yes?"
STEVE: "yep."
CABBIE: "never been there."
STEVE: "you should. it's amazing."
CABBIE: "sometimes, i wish i could just escape."

uncomfortable silence.

CABBIE: "i am going through tough personal times. my wife, we've been married for twenty years. i work hard, every day, drive for 16-18 hours. i come home tired. sometimes, i do not give my wife the attention she deserves. that i grant is my mistake."
STEVE: "make a right left here."
CABBIE: "two months ago, i come home and see my wife in bed with another man. i yell at her. she tell me that i pay no attention to her all i do is work and this is what comes of it. i want to kill the man and my wife."

very uncomfortable silence.

CABBIE: "yesterday, we bring two lawyers to settle things. i work hard and i pay off mortgage to house. $4000 a month. that is why i work 16-18 hours a day. my wife, she wants to split the house. this i agree too."
STEVE: "make a left on california please."
CABBIE: "but then i see her with that man and i get angry inside, so i say to my lawyer, 'no deal!' all or nothing. that bitch deserves nothing. nothing, i tell you. nothing! but then we have the kids, i have twins, just six months old, and also a seven year-old, and now i have an apartment near them, but everywhere i look around me, i see that filthy bitch."
STEVE: "sixth avenue is coming up. you should make a..."
CABBIE: "now i want to take my kids out of the country."

extremely uncomfortable silence.

CABBIE: "so, i would like to go to new york, but soon, i will take my kids away from my wife and take them to mexico, where we will be happy."
STEVE: "right here is fine. much do i owe you?"

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