Wednesday, June 22, 2005

how easy it is to get your fifteen

is anyone else perturbed over all the attention that the so-called "runaway bride" is getting? what exactly did she do? she took a bus ride. she irked some responsibilities. she was found. she lied. she confessed. she came home.



seriously, that's it. that's all she did. and now she's being interviewed by katie couric and she just signed a $500,000 book deal.

so, to break it down into mathematical terms:

bus ride + irresponsibility + lie + confession + return home = $500,000 book deal + katie couric interview.

i can do that.

today i took the 71 bus from my house to the haight. i was supposed to go to the art store, but i got some cold feet and i left the art store employees waiting for my arrival. when i was spotted in the haight, i concocted a story about how a mangled-tooth hippie kidnapped me and led me to the ben & jerry's on ashbury. but there was no mangled-toothed hippie (i mean, there are plenty of them in the world, but none of them that were guilty). i then confessed, saying that i went to the haight because i didn't want to deal with the pressure of buying the right type of paper for a portfolio i'm making. i returned home to my place, and eventually the art store employees forgave me, because they are idiots.

<

please make the check out to the runaway artist.

2 comments:

wearables said...

very funny. i may run away too. shit, who couldn't use $500,000?

da-bone said...

The eyes!! The eyes!! I can't take the eyes!!!