how to not make fun of someone

there's a very fine line between making fun of someone and just stating facts.

so i am just going to state the facts about someone who i always see at my coffeehouse and who sat in front of me today while i worked.

as always, he wore spandex pants that glorify his package which, considering his outfit is skin tight, could have used a zucchini.

shit, i just made fun of him. let me start over, without the commentary. i promise, i'll just state the facts, and leave it up to you to form your own opinions. okay, here goes it. the theater of the mind.

- as always, he wore spandex pants that glorify his package.
- a fanny pack dangled around his neck. yes, i said around his neck.
- his sweater had a drawing of a pony on it.
- and his biking helmet stayed on his head while inside the cafe.

discuss.