Tuesday, December 27, 2005

how to emasculate myself unintentionally

because of my cold/flu, i've been breathing from my mouth for the past five days. and because of that, my lips are chapped.

so i had to buy chapstick.

i hate chapstix. not that i don't like the idea of it or how it tastes, but i hate that it looks like i'm applying lipstick on my mouth.

i'm a guy. i don't do lipstick on myself.

but i had to. and i am completely emasculated.

so i've been wondering what other somewhat innocent things i can do to make myself look and feel like someone who has his balls in a jar.

here's an incomplete list:
- share an umbrella with another man
- drink from a straw
- fall gracefully
- order a mohito

more to come.


Jaime Schwarz said...

I'm going to add "worrying about being emasculated" to your list of things that make you emasculated.

Anonymous said...

buy a turtleneck
buy a body lotion/bodywash combo pack
pick up a multivaluepack of tampons
wear a utilikilt
shop at keihls, by yourself , for facial moisturizer

Anonymous said...

How about at the mall holding your wife's/girlfriend's handbag while they are trying on clothes.