Thursday, May 31, 2007

how it's a shame that NBA teams are left in the hands of mental midgets

i'm currently watching game 6 of the cavs-pistons series. the only reason i'm torturing myself through this is because i'm watching it on this.

the sports guy wrote a hilarious article today about how incompetent the coaches are in this series. and i gotta say, in high definition, their complete lack of intelligence and savvy is staggering.

allow me to rant.

cleveland runs two plays: clear out for lebron, and lebron/varejao pick and roll (hold the roll). in actuality, they are not bad plays. they've got nothing on that team. okay, you're completely eliminating lebron's greatest skill (his passing), but other than him, this team is atrocious. he's your only hope.

okay, it's the fourth quarter, so the call is to...wait for it, wait for it...clear out for lebron, and detroit counters by playing him straight up. of which lebron counters by dunking it in their grills. over and over and over and over and over again. every so often, for variety's sake, they run the pick and roll, and when varejao rolls, his defender follows him to the hoop.

why would the pistons follow varejao? i don't know. he's not getting the ball. you would double lebron right? right? anyone?

so, okay, he's on fire and he's abusing his defenders. detroit refuses to double. so they should go zone, right? i mean, you want the other guys to shoot, right? why not pack the lane and force lebron to dish once he gets past his defender? makes sense, no?

no. just one dunk after the other, practically unimpeded. one on one. they're inviting lebron to abuse them.

while this one man offensive avalanche is happening (with a golden invitation by flip saunders), mike brown (the "coach" of the cavs) is substituting offense for defense. why? your offense is lebron going 1 on 1. he IS your offense. why are you substituting at all? shouldn't you just keep your best defensive players in the game? why put yourself at risk of not having your best defensive ballplayers in at the end of the game? your best "offensive" players are just standing around. your best defensive players can do that too, right? right?

finally, after 16 straight dunks or so, the pistons decide that it might be a good idea to leave varejao alone on the pick and roll and double lebron. i know. genius.

so what does mike brown do? yep, you called it. keep on calling these insignificant pick and rolls (hold the roll). so, for no offensive advantage, he's basically giving the pistons a reason to double lebron. yes, he's inviting his own unstoppable one man offense to give up the ball. you know, because if he doesn't call the pick and roll (hold the roll), there's no double team. it would just be lebron and his man on an island.

by now, my throat is sore.

okay, there's 30 seconds left in overtime and we're tied. the cavs got the ball and just one timeout, so they burn it. why? for what? to set up lebron clear out? to set up lebron pick and roll (hold the roll)? to put in your offensive players so they can stand around? c'mon! you've got two plays. pick one. by burning the timeout now, you lose the reason to have timeouts: the ability to advance the ball to halfcourt if you get the last shot.

i repeat: by calling a meaningless timeout, you're forfeiting the ability to advance the ball to halfcourt later. and yep, that's what happened.

honestly, it's not as much of a basketball game as much of a comedy show right now.

lebron drive. lebron, pick and roll, (hold the roll). detroit doing nothing to stop him. his coach doing nothing to help him. 29 points in the 4th quarter and 2 overtimes, all done by calling two plays. hey, this is the nba.

the headlines will be all about lebron, and he was amazing. truly amazing. this was the performance the world was waiting for.

but it wouldn't have been without the combined amazing incompetence of their coaches involved.

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