Friday, September 01, 2006

how to waste time in the marina

most of you who know me and who know san francisco know of my disdain for the marina district. i take that back; it's not really disdain. i just feel bad for the people there, to be so superficial and vapid all the time, to be so generic, well, it's a sad way to go through life. paris hilton should not be a role model. but that's just me. i'm grounded.

anyways, i had to waste some time before the double feature (see above), so i went shopping.

here's a tale of two stores two blocks apart, very similar but oh, so different.

the gap
i decided to spontaneously buy socks and a belt. i brought them to the counter, where the cashier asked me:
"did you find everything you were looking for?"
"ummm..i...i'm sorry, what?" (i was thinking for a wiseass remark)
"did you find everything you were looking for?"
"oh, no."
"maybe we can direct you to what you're looking for?"
"yes, maybe. where do you keep your battleships?"
"i'm sorry, what?"
"battleships. do you have a section for battleships?"
"like, the game 'battleship'?"
"i'm thinking an actual battleship. you know, with a row of guns and a poopdeck."
"i'm not sure we sell battleships."
"then i'll take this belt and socks."

we laughed. who didn't laugh was her manager, the human botox injection, who either gave me the wicked eye or has the wicked eye permanently frozen on her face. if you're ever on the gap on chestnut, check her out. she looks like a picasso. that wasn't a compliment.

lucky brand jeans
i'm just walking around, wasting time, when an employee asks me:
"can i help you with anything?"
"no, just wasting time."
"if i can help you with anything, let me know."
all of a sudden, "midnight rider" by the allman brothers plays though the speakers. and i say:
"seriously, thanks. i needed a little gregg allman".
"like i said, anything to help".
i smiled. she smiled. everybody happy.

not a bad fifteen minutes in a hellhole.

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