Monday, October 29, 2007

how i have much to vent about

where do i begin?

how about united airlines.

i hate united airlines. i truly do. i've never flown a united flight that was actually on time, and i try to go out of my way not to fly them.

first off, they are liars. my hatred for them began a couple of years ago when i had the nerve to try to catch a flight from JFK to SFO. i showed up on time, i boarded on time, and i noticed that the flight was half-empty. maybe 65% empty. but the plane wasn't moving. i got suspicious. i stealthily etched my initials into my food tray. then the announced that the plane we were on was unflyable, that it had a broken thingamajig that caused it's something to do blahblahblah, and we had to get off and catch the next flight. which i did. which was now 95% full. and i sat in the same seat. which had my initials in the tray.

so united airlines lied to me and bumped my plans because they couldn't sell seats.

assholes.

since then, i've flown them for work a couple of times, and they've never ever taken off on time. just a completely incompetent organization.

so unfortunately i had to fly them round trip this weekend to los angeles, which should be painless. but this being united and friday night, i had the tightest seat imaginable. my elbows were tucked into my sides. my legs up into my throat. the air nozzle above me barely working. and we're late. plus, in flight, i get a napkin with "united. the most leg room in economy".

liars.

this morning for the return trip, they had six electronic ticket kiosks open. why just six? isn't it 2007? anyone? then we had a one hour delay for boarding, plus another hour waiting on the runway. i would normally put this on just bad luck, but considering the company, they ain't getting that leeway.

bastards.

never again.

now allow me to move onto the sheraton delfina in santa monica, which actually had a very nice renovation i guess (it was my first time there, but it was pretty on the interior), and my room was big, but they:
- had crappy old light switches
- a thermostat that didn't work
- a TV from the late 1980s (no shitting you)
- the hardest bed on the planet
- the same sheets from the 70s
- i couldn't find the remote control
- a $6 fee per 15 minutes of work in their business center

and, my favorite:

- the 49 cents they charged me for "black ink usage fee" when i used the printer.

otherwise, i had a great time in los angeles. seriously. honestly.

like girogio bialdi good. like ravioli stuffed with sweet corn and topped with truffle oil good.

1 comment:

TheCroz (tm) said...

Funny story. Hate to dissent, but I really LIKE United. I've rarely been late on one of their flights, and I've never been treated poorly or bumped. (Must be you...) It is rather, for me, American Airlines that is the sub-par carrier. They are the ones who flew me to NYC, then canceled the puddle-jumper flight to Rochester, choosing instead to DRIVE US THERE! So my new bride and I were herded into a MINIVAN without functioning heat (It was Xmas and 17-degrees outside) with six other passengers, huddled together for warmth for the next SEVEN GODDAMN HOURS. For our trouble, they gave us a voucher for $400--one that expired before we could use it. Frankly, I'll take United any day.