how paradise can't last longer than a couple of short moments

i spent friday night buying the best HD LCD TV on the market.

i spent saturday morning waiting for it to be delivered.

i spent saturday noon watching the delivery guys install it and calibrate the colors to fit my apartment, while i wondered if 40" is indeed too big for my octagon of a room.

i spent saturday afternoon shopping for a proper entertainment center to showcase this beauty.

i spent saturday night assembling it and rewiring the cables.

i spent early sunday morning enjoying the picture with everything i have in my body and retinas.

i fell asleep.

i awoke sunday morning and hit "guide" and watched the channels scroll at the speed of a slot machine on human growth hormones.

i spent sunday afternoon making sure everything was plugged in correctly.

i spent sunday night on the phone with comcast, complaining that i just bought a HD TV but i can't choose what to watch because the guide feature won't slow down for me. they zapped the box, but nothing happened. i changed the batteries, but that didn't work either. i snapped my fingers like the fonz. no go.

i'm now awaiting for thursday morning's visit from the comcast man.

until then, i have to go online, check out comcast's online listing of current tv shows, pick what i want to watch, type in the numbers on my remote and then watch it. also, i can't watch anything on my DVR or on demand because it scrolls way too fast for me to choose and stop.

so, simply put, watching TV on my brand new work of art is suddenly a huge painful chore.

awesome. predicatable.

how i went there, oh yes, i went there

behold the 40 inch 1080p LCD full HDTV with integrated ATSC tuner that i just welcomed to my family.

although i bought the floor model that was only there for two days (so it was basically warmed up), and i got it for about $800 less than the ticketed price.

and that caused me to purchase the three year warranty for $450, which came complete with free installation, a monster cable and a cleaning kit.

and that still didn't add up to the listed retail price.

allow me to make the introduction: ass meet couch. couch meet ass.