how i think mustaches are...wait, i don't think i can even say the word

last night, when the first lady of steveohville and i went to kaiser for a baby checkup, i noticed that the large majority of men in the hospital were sporting mustaches. they were thick and thin, long and short. they hid their upper lips. these were men young and old, hip and out-of-date.

why were all these mustached men there? were they there for mustache impants? were their mustaches carrying some sort of infection? do you need a mustache for proper service?

i felt naked.

it might have been a coincidence. but with jason giambi's 'stache inspired resurgence and john oates' career revitalization through mustache and animation, i think the inevitable has happened:

the mustache is back.

how did this happen? was there a vote on this? because if there was, and this was passed, it might be time to move to canada.

but then i'd have to grow one of these.

can't win.

how i'm sure this is what p.diddy was thinking of when he started "vote or die"

please, i beg of you, head over to newsday's website and vote for keith hernandez over don mattingly in the battle of the mustaches.

you know nobody can touch mex's.

nobody.

how my mustache knowledge just wasn't up to par

take the mustache quiz to test your knowledge of celebrity mustahces.

i got 7 out of 10.

i should hand in my fakes.