how i'm proud and shameful of this reply

this was my reply in an e-mail string about presidential athletes. i got halfway through it and couldn't turn back and had to finish it. i'm posting this because it could possibly be the most ridiculous thing i've written in a long long time:

from steve:

i think i would enjoy playing on the same squad with obama. after all, he's a redistributor.

from what was written in the history books, martin van buren was a big-time flopper that got under everyone's skin. rumor has it that andrew jackson wanted to slap the shit out of him during a game of 21 for calling a charge. supposedly, jackson yelled, "nobody, not even a dirty, low-down, slavery-hatin' carpetbagger, would have the audacity to call a charge in pick-up! but you, sir, have sunk even lower!" and not even that was able to stop van buren from doing it thrice more. jackson was loading his bayonet before daniel webster subdued him.

it's true.

how i know what i saw, and i don't think i liked it

i've successfully tivoed the three exhibition games that the men's olympic basketball team has played so far (against turkey, lithuania and russia), and although they've won every game by over thirty points in each, i can't saw that i'm all that impressed. they're gonna get beat - maybe not against the weaker teams, but spain, argentina and greece are definite threats.

first off, these teams they're played clearly aren't showing their full deck. how do i know this? well, nobody in their right minds would play the americans in a man defense, but that's mostly been what they've seen. these teams might not be as athletic or as talented, but they aren't stupid, either. these games don't matter, and they're treating them as such.

secondly, when they have gone zone, it hasn't been very exotic - except for the "guard the man in your zone" defense that russia played for a moment. and that absolutely confused the americans into bad shots, turnovers, bad spacing and insecurity.

thirdly, there's been a plethora of bad shots taken by the americans that were forced up for no real good reason. there's been a ton of 1-on-5. there's been a lot of fadeaways. and yeah, it might work against teams that just aren't as talented or athletic, but that absolutely won't fly against spain or argentina, teams that are on the same athletic plane.

and that's my point. it seems like they're still running NBA offenses against international teams, which doesn't really make any sense against non-NBA defenses. don't get me wrong: isolation plays work in a league with strident defensive restrictions. but there's none of that in international ball, where systems often overcome athleticism. we still can't seem to grasp that.

it just blows my mind how there's so very little offensive imagination in this country. it's the "same old same old" by every single coach. "give the ball to your best scorer and have him go" is not an offense. and neither is "give the ball to someone and have them create", which is what i've seen so far. it relies on a player dribbling into trouble, and that's never a good idea, no matter how unselfish this team might be (and they actually have been, for the most part). there's still not much movement without the ball. and strange defenses are eliciting predicatably strange shot selections. it's much of the same. then again, maybe the americans are playing possum too. could be.

on the plus side, the defense has been tremendous, although the pick-and-roll defense (and backdoor defense) is still a little spotty. and that's not gonna work against argentina, spain or greece. but it's been good enough, and has been the impetus on many of their big runs, with points coming mostly off the break.

can we win just by running? right now, it looks like we better.

i just hope it doesn't come to that.

how i'm gonna make it up to you in a big way

sorry i haven't blogged in awhile. i just haven't really had much to say or the energy or time to say it. blame it on the rain.

still, i've got some brilliant audio to help make it up to you, dedicated to beckett o'neill stern.

this is the vocal track of david lee roth singing "runnin' with the devil", and it's wonderful and hilarious and making me think about getting van halen tickets.

here's an audio track of prank callers terrorizing the big east basketball coaches conference call. the exasperation of the moderator is priceless.

and the historic aaron burr-alexander hamilton duel, as acted out by michael cera and as told by a drunk guy. it's...yes, it is.

how you don't need a caucus to prove that this rocks

of all the election ads i've seen, this one is far and away the best.

how the nba used its vertical leap to jump about seven sharks

does anyone else notice that the nba is much more interesting off the court than anything that happens on the court?

you know, outside of lebron's game 5, yawn. but all the nasty off court stuff? terrible. but entertaining.

from kobe's eventual holdout, the horror stories from vegas, the hawks' embarrassing ownership issues, seattle having their team extorted out from their city, a continuous stream of player arrests, anucha browne sanders' testimony eviscerating isiah and stephon, the knicks hitting an all-time low and now, greg oden's microfracture surgery, the nba could not be any lower.

and i didn't even mention the tim donaghy ref scandal.

and the year's not even over yet. seriously, if you thought vegas was a mess, then consider that they've got the next all-star game coming up in new orleans.

the entire league - from players, refs, upper management, organizations, integrity to perceptions - is imploding before our eyes. what a horrible collapse it's been.

i can't wait for college hoops.