Sunday, September 21, 2008

how wearing your favorite team's jersey doesn't make you a genius

ever notice how the loudest person in a bar is usually the most ignorant? well, here's a list of the wonderful insights yelled out by the loudest football fan in the valley tavern this morning - a lesbian woman in a pats jersey:

- "what's with the o-line? what's with the o-line!", in response to watching a replay of the pats' line trying to stop seven rushers with five blockers.

- after cheering wildly after a first down catch by wes welker - "that's my boy!" - a dolphins' fan replies with a generic but still well-placed "scoreboard!" chant (since the score at that time was 31-13 miami), she comes back with, "i bet that was a stupid giants fan who yelled that!" even though...i can't make sense of that. sorry.

- in a response to my obviously sarcastic line of "wow, brady looks awful out there", she says, "that's because it's not brady! it's matt cassel! not brady! it's cassel! see? cassel!" as everyone around me laughs at her.

- "can you put the sawx on? we need to put the sawx on! playoff baseball! woo!" just as ronnie brown scored yet another touchdown to put the cassel-lead pats down 38-13. after which a dolphins' fan yells, "what? no more football for you today?" also to the laughter of everyone around me.

- and even though her team lost at home by 25 to a team that went 1-15 last season which should have shut her gaping mouth with humble pie, and even though the raiders were playing the bills, one of her rival teams in the AFC East, she yells "raiders suck!", just as the silver-and-black lose on a last-second field goal. and, of course, this almost sets off a huge brawl.

at least, thanks to eli, good times were had by all.

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