Tuesday, April 29, 2008

how it's my turn for my opinions on "american idol"

i think we've had enough of randy and paula giving completely hollow and unusable advice. and i think the world is ready for what i think because i am very important and because i have a pulpit that fifty readers enjoy daily.

okay, here goes it:

brooke - do you know anyone who actually votes for her? if you do, let me know, because i can't figure out what her appeal is. whatever it is, however, it's working, mostly because she's sucked ass the last couple of weeks but still survived. she's been bland, boring, uncreative, ear piercing and not very enjoyable - although she did a better job this week behind the piano for "i am, i said". in fact, the one thing she does pull off well is the whole carly simon schtick. but she's no carly simon. in fact, she's the new ramiele, who was the new sanjaya.

jason - i'm tired of his act too. honestly, is it too much to take 45 minutes out of your day to memorize the lyrics of the song you're about to sing in front of an enormous national audience? if i'm going to have a chance to work with neil diamond or andrew lloyd webber, i'd be mature enough to have my shit together beforehand and not written on a piece of paper. but he hasn't, and the crap has flowed. each song has become a cry for help. so put your hackysack away and your birkenstocks back on, you hippy, and man up.

david archuleta - for me, the biggest mystery of the whole season. forget paula; she doesn't criticize a soul. but why hasn't randy or simon ever once mentioned that he sings the same song every week, that he sounds the same every week, that none of his songs are modern, and that he hasn't shown any range at all? they ripped carly for all that, and she just as talented as this imp. he doesn't take any risks, and his songs are dull. i wouldn't buy any of his albums, and i can't imagine anyone over 14 who would.

syesha - i don't get the reasons why the judges just aren't in love with her. if you want to knock her for not being very creative with the songs she chooses, fine. but week in and week out, she sets the bar extremely high with the most difficult songs to sing and, although she might not have mariah's or beyonce's gift, she does a damn good job with what she's got. let's face it; she's headed to broadway. and musicals ain't my bag. but i think she's doing a hell of a lot better than what she's been getting credit for.

david cook - he's the only one who actually tries to be an artist with the song he chooses. he's the only one i feel comes in prepared to meet the legend each week. he's the only one who gives a wide range of what he can do. and he's the only performer who doesn't need "american idol" to have an amazing career - and that's the sign of a true idol. i hope he doesn't win, just because they'll stifle and ruin him.

but that's just me. what do i know?


Anonymous said...

As one of your daily 50, you took the words right out of my paulaverized brain, you dog.

Anonymous said...

As another of your mesmerized daily 50, I couldn't agree more. The final 2 will be David and David although I think Syesha should be there too. Cook is the real thing and should win it all but the 11 to 13 year olds are behind Archiletta and that could be a problem.

Anonymous said...

Vote for the worst supports Jason Castro and so do I !!!! (and I'll also be on line to buy David Cook's first album).

By the way, did you notice that Paula's screw up was because the judges see the performances before hand and already wrote down her comments? This is why she had that. Their comments are almost prescripted.