how i think too much about the knicks

this was posted during bill simmons' epic chat yesterday on espn.com,

Otis (Toronto, ON): how close are we to having the Knicks banished to the WNBA?

Bill Simmons: (12:29 PM ET ) That a boy, Otis! I like the idea of banishing the Knicks to the WNBA - Renaldo Balkman would be the 10th most attractive player in the league.

that got me thinking: how would the knicks do in the WNBA?

i have two different takes on this: realistically and honestly.

realistically, the WNBA champs detroit mercury couldn't even come close to matching up physically with them.

6'11" eddy curry would be guarded by 6'4" tangela smith.
6'11" zach randolph would be guarded by 6'1" penny taylor.
6'4" quentin richardson would be guarded by 6'0" diana taurasi.
6'5" jamal crawford would be guarded by 5'10" kelly miller.
6'3" stephon marbury would be guarded by 5'9" cappie pondexter.

taking the obvious advantages in strength, speed and athleticism (no offense to any of the ladies out there), but i can't fathom how they would ever stop the knicks.

physically, the mercury trots out there looking like a small high school boy's team (but better, obviously) taking on an NBA team.

and defensively? again, huge size, strength, speed and athletic advantages to the knicks. and although the knicks are dreadfully and embarrassingly terrible at help defense, they wouldn't have to leave their man. the mercury would score. it would just be very difficult.

so realistically, the knicks wouldn't lose.

honestly, they might.

you see, all isiah would have to do is force the ball down low to curry and randolph. there's nothing anyone on the mercury can do to stop them. in fact, the knicks would only be stopped by themselves.

and how? well, marbury and crawford would get pissed off at curry and randolph scoring so easily. so, at some point, the passes would stop. and marbury and crawford would start chucking it up. again, many of them would go in. but not all of them. and judging what we've seen from randolph and curry, they'd probably begin to sulk.

and by sulk, that means going from being the two worst defenders in history and eliminating any sort of effort and care.

scoring would be easier.

and isiah's already lost the team, so it's not like they'd listen to him whenever he comes up with a "solution".

so, realistically? no. but honestly?

i've already spent too much time on this.