how i'm adding this to the list of things i wish i had the balls to do

and lord knows, i've thought plenty about it.

even so, i'm glad a precedent has been set.

how these would be the coolest xmas gifts ever

seriously, if anyone got me either this or this, you might have a new best friend.

of course, the first lady of steveohville wouldn't necessarily be happy about it.

but it's hitch, baby!

how it's august, and i'm sure enough to call it

yep, i just saw hands down the best film of the year, and we're not even into the prime months of november and december.


starring christian bale, aaron eckhardt, heath ledger, gary oldman and maggie gyllenhall
written and directed by christopher nolan
viewed at the kabuki sundance theaters, san francisco, ca

well, well, well. even with all the hype and anticipation, even with everything i thought it would be, even with the tall heights of the first epic tale, still this film surpassed anything my imagination could conjure up. it took the groundwork from "batman begins" and built on it, sharpened it, raised it, perfected it.

it's a masterpiece, really, and everything you'd want from a film of this genre.

of course, it's got some advantages. we're already head deep into the psychological scars of bruce wayne. we've already spent some time into the darkest recesses of gotham city. we've already survived ra's al-ghul, and although we didn't agree with them, we saw their point. we felt the tumult between the millionaire playboy and his childhood love, and also his bonds with his loyal assistants. the foundation's been laid.

but, with the right gardener, every good foundation will sprout something beautiful. or, in this case, depressing. we peel more layers off the scars. we see how dismal constant fear can turn a city into desperation. he see how a man without fear of dying can commit unfettered terrorism. we see that love can take many forms.

this movie is deep. the script is spotless. the acting is tremendous. the drama is thick. the tension is gripping.

and my nerves are shot.

i haven't even begun talking about heath ledger yet. but his performance makes jack nicholson's look like amateur hour. he sells the psychotic. his every word is a symphony of terror. his look, his posture, his cadence, his stares - hell, the joker's everything - his entire being feeding from a horribly scary place. he wears his creepy on the inside and outside. he's given the perfect script and character study, and colors it with the perfect performance. give him the award already. ain't nobody touching him this year.

it's truly a shame. but trust me, that's the only one you'll find in these 150 minutes.

if you're not one for chills, if you're not one for deep thought, if you're not one for drama and suspense, if you're not one for the perfect marriage of superhero and logic, and if you're not one for the highest levels of art, then stay home.

otherwise, he's calling for you.

how i barely survived my first film of the year

it pains me to announce that, in the 2008 calendar year, i had yet to see a film inside a movie theater. if you know me, or even just read my blog, you know that i usually have to find my way inside a theater just to re-energize myself (and to give myself something to write about).

but with, you know, everything that's gone down this year (or, as i like to think about it, gone up), i just haven't had a chance to. but the list of films awaiting my eyes was growing bigger by the friday.

so it stuns me to write that, with all this down time that just suddenly hit us, the first movie i saw this year was...wait for it...


starring the gang
written and direxted by michael patrick king
viewed at the tiburon playhouse, tiburon, ca

i'm gonna reveal the funniest part of the film right here, and it wasn't even in the film: when the first lady of steveohville and i walked up to the ticket booth, i asked the attendant, "i'd like two tickets for 'sex and the city', and one loaded revolver".

everyone laughed. hard.

and that was it.

i don't want to say that the film is brutal. there were some really nice scenes that were very reminiscent of the great HBO series. but it was waaay too long, waaay overdone and waaay too obvious, and it was desperately in need of both an edit and a second draft. honestly, a film this anticipated and expensive deserved a script and performances worthy of the hype - and not a lame attempt.

and believe me, it was a pretty lame and underwhelming attempt, unless you love cliches and transparent plots, in which case this was the best film ever made. and this comes from someone, a man full of testosterone, who actually dug the series. (and i can already read the e-mails piling in that say, "how can you consider yourself a man if you saw 'sex and the city' before 'iron man' or the new indiana jones film?" and you know what? you're right. my bad. my so very bad).

look, guys, you know your chick is gonna want to watch it with you, if they haven't already. i would milk this one as much as you can. negotiate two, maybe three films in return. it's that terrible - and there's a lot of terrible to go around. just smile and force your way through it. she'll appreciate it.

for the record, the first lady of steveohville mentioned that, although it wasn't a good film, it took her to a good place, where those four ladies were her friends every sunday night and they all shared a half hour together. so the film experience was purely about reminiscing with old pals for one last go-around.

and i understand that. i felt the same way about "transformers".

how i'm going to sound like a hypocrite here

starring brad pitt, casey affleck and sam rockwell
written and directed by andrew dominik
watched on my 40" 1080i LCD HDTV

here's the good: i'm a huge fan of this movie. i just read a great biography of jesse james, and instead of taking the obvious route of train holdups and the like, they just focused on the end - which was brilliantly told and acted, and became utterly compelling. every shot was photographed in gorgeous sepia with washed-out colors that really puts you squarely inside the post civil war/western era. casey affleck finally gets a role he could thrive in that doesn't involve wisecracks or a boston accent. he deserves his nomination. the accents they adopted (late 19th century missouri anyone?) were fun to listen to. the performances were wonderful.and the movie takes its dear time, which is a revelation in these times. and, lastly but higly important to me, the silences in this film say so much. you know how much i love stuff like that. god, i love that stuff.

and here's the bad: as much as i love that stuff, the movie took too much of its dear time. with those much needed deep silences, the movie just feels like it took forever. honestly, it's two and a half hours long, which is fine, except this story's probably got sixty minutes of meat in it. so yeah, i was completely enthralled, but somewhat bored by the end.

hey look, if you're a wild west freak, totally check it out. i am. i really dug it. you won't be disappointed at all. and if you're not a wild west freak, i don't know what's wrong with you.

how you can turn someone else's life into something very personal

starring emile hirsch, marcia gay harden, william hurt, jena malone, catherine keener and hal holbrook
written and directed by sean penn
viewed at the metreon, san francisco, ca

every brilliant review i've read about this brilliant adaptation of that brilliant book centered around the word "personal". of course, the writer/director has made a living finding the deepest spirits of the characters he portrays, so that connection seemed natural.

emile hirsch became chris mccandless; he connected to the soul of the character, this real person, his struggles and intrepidness. hal holbrook's short relationship to him connected him not only character to character, but also us to older people dear to our own lives. eddie vedder's score, barely beyond the basics, connected a personal narrative to this powerful journey. the pain seen in the faces of catherine keener, william hurt and marcia gay harden was something we could all relate to, the loss of someone special.

and sean penn's barren writing and gradual directing was the perfect string to tie all these connections together.

why is all this important? well, you won't read any book or listen to any conversation about great films without hearing that the ultimate the goal of brilliant filmmaking is to make connections. because if you can coerce the audience to turn your story into something personal, it'll become something they remember because it's something they'll feel.

i feel this is one of the best films this year. and i ain't alone.

how we have this year's "little miss sunshine", except somehow impossibly better

starring ellen page, michael cera, jason bateman and jennifer garner
written by diablo cody
directed by jason reitman
viewed at the sundance kabuki, san francisco, ca

every movie is made of characters. they are fake. they don't exist. and most of the time, they are just nothing more than flat caricatures, fleshed out cliches, completely unrelatable in every way. but sometimes, a character is created that is so unique, real, cool and brilliantly human, that they completely grab you and you just fall in love with them.

i would like to introduce the world to juno macguff.

actually, she'll do it herself, along with the other kinds of shenanigans that she could get herself into.

i don't want to give anything away. so even beyond the non-stop laughs, this is a feel good movie that really makes you feel. it's superbly written by the freshest voice in years. jason reitman directs it with the gentlest touch it deserves. and the acting is just dead on, from the always brilliant michael cera and j.k. simmons to jason bateman and even jennifer garner. and, obviously, ellen page, who takes the words that make up juno in the script and turns her into the most engaging character to hit the screen in years.

if this is not the best film this year, then it's surely the most entertaining.

how i was there for an amazing performance

starring christian bale, cate blanchett, heath ledger and others
written and directed by todd haynes
viewed at the empire, san francisco, ca

i'm gonna get this out of the way first: this is a great film, and an amazing achievement in storytelling. bob dylan's life is not told linearly or even literally, but you get it. my lord, do you get it. if you don't know the man after you leave this film, then you just weren't paying attention. and, much like the artist, it was told by not following the rules. bravo. a tremendous achievement.

in fact, outside of the richard gere segments, everyone was tremendous. and it's not that gere was terrible; he just wasn't as good, and his part wasn't as compelling. but there's so much to this, just so much, that you just sink your teeth into it and allow yourself to drown in it. and the soundtrack? wonderful. as if you had to ask.

now that all that is out of the way, the rest of this will be about the brilliance of cate blanchett. and i'm not just talking about conquering the obvious obstacles of a woman playing a male role, but playing as a male with an incredible deal going on. she was mesmerizing.

how good and absorbing was she? during my five minute post-film gushing about her, the first lady of steveohville asked me what character did cate blanchett play. i mean, she played the lead character, and the first lady had no idea. how amazing is that?

this is easily one of the best films i've seen this year. but moreso, cate blanchett's performance is one for the ages. check her out. she's incredible. bob dylan has never been so appealing.

how a confusing ending can almost ruin a brilliant everything else

starring javier bardem, tommy lee jones and josh brolin
written and directed by the coen brothers
viewed at the century san francisco center, san francisco

for the first two hours of "old country of old men", i saw the very best of the coen brothers' illustrious career. i saw the most amazing film of this year so far. i saw a movie brilliantly written, directed and edited, and with truly captivating performances by bardem, jones and brolin. it was everything it was hyped up to be: a master's class in the art of storytelling.

and then, the final five minutes happened.

look, i'm not alone in this. everyone who left the theater with me was completely flummoxed. when i got home, i googled the film, and realized that reviews are flooded with people as confused as i was.

so, the question remains: does a very weird, unsettling and perplexed ending eradicate the brilliance that happened before it?

i don't think so. or, at least, not totally. "no country for old men" is still the best movie i've seen this year.

however, i can't see it winning any awards for best picture. for one, it will split votes with paul thomas anderson's "there will be blood". after all, they are very much alike, in that they are excellent in every aspect of making a film. however, there is a story arc in this one, full of resistance and drama and characters in peril. whereas anderson's movie seems like a challenge to himself, this is a masterstroke of creative geniuses.

and secondly, oh, that ending, it just can't help. it really can't. confusion works for david lynch because he's david lynch and that's what you expect. but for even the masters of the unexpected like the coens, it's just...

okay, enough about that. moving on, bardem, jones and brolin are truly awesome and worthy of any accolades they receive. the cinematography is gorgeous. and nobody edits a film with such poignancy as the coen bro...i mean, roderick jaymes. the first two hours represent the very peak of their canon.

if only.



UPDATE: so i thought about it overnight, and i'm completely changing my tune. the problem with the film is actually with the beginning in that we never know who's story it is. at the end, it's clear that the film is told through tommy lee jones' point of view. but for the mesmerizing two hours before that, we've got his story, but it's mostly about javier bardem chasing josh brolin. when we get to the ending, it's the cumulation of not the whole story, but of just tommy lee jones'.

so, despite the absolute brilliance, there just needed to be more about how this was the last chase of this lawman's career, just because the times have changed, and it's no longer just for someone his age.

damn, so close.

but it's still the best film i've seen this year.

how you can find true humanity in a fake person

starring ryan gosling, emily mortimer and paul schneider
directed by craig gillespie
written by nancy oliver
viewed at the sundance theater kabuki, san francisco

every so often, a movie comes along that is so expertly created that it shows that there can be a strong human truth found in even the clearly absurd. take "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" for instance. if left to the simpleminded, it would have been just a movie about how you can get your mind erased. but with charlie kaufman and michel gondry's amazing gifts of storytelling, it transcended into a strong human truth, that you may be able to erase the hard drive of your brain, but never the hard drive of your heart.

why did i begin with that? because a movie whose basic premise begins with a man buying a "real girl" sex toy and passing it off as his girlfriend is fraught with the very worst that slapstick can offer. in the hands of the farrelly brothers, the real doll becomes a prop. in the hands of michael bay, the real doll becomes something worth exploding, an inanimate object that stays that way until its parts are flying every which way.

but when it stands for something, when it becomes more than a prop or a target, when the filmmakers don't stoop for the easy jokes or a simple plotlines, well that's where the human truth shines through. and we can all connect to it. and it leaves us with something wholly inspiring.

that's what i felt when i left the theater with the first lady of steveohville. she felt it too. it wasn't a movie about a dude who buys a real doll and passes it off as his girlfriend. it was a movie about how love can go through great lengths when great lengths are needed. and if there's someone out there who doesn't relate to that, well, you begin to feel what ryan gosling's character was feeling.

this is the best movie i've seen so far this year, the best script i've watched this year, and gosling's performance is much more multilayered than the brilliance of daniel day-lewis' in "there will be blood".

which means that if you've got $10 and 90 minutes to spare, there's nothing better i can recommend you spending them on.

how to review a movie two months before it premieres

due to the wonders of san francisco, i was able to watch a sneak preview of the latest film from one of my favorite filmmakers. here goes it:


starring daniel day-lewis and paul dano
written and directed by paul thomas anderson
viewed at the castro theater, san francisco

first off: i am a huge fan of paul thomas anderson. when everyone killed "punch drunk love", i praised it as a rousing success - because i saw the chances he took by casting adam sandler in a dramatic role, and how amazing the movie was because of it. on top of that, you all know how i feel about both "boogie nights" and "magnolia". and his first film, "hard eight", is just wonderful. the point is that he challenges himself with each film, he takes the preconceptions and turns them around and his stories aren't conventional by any means. his films are what storytelling should be, but sadly aren't. they are not about box office receipts. they are about human truths told masterfully.

so yeah, i dig his work. and when i got a chance to see his movie a full two months before everyone else got a chance to, i jumped.

and, shockingly to nobody who's read this far, it's a brilliantly made film. each shot is truly epic. daniel day-lewis is amazing, and is the odds-on favorite to win another oscar. his counterpart, paul dano, is great too. the photography that framed them is just gorgeous. the opening fifteen minutes are just wondrous. and the score by radiohead's jonny greenwood is pitch perfect. these are the pieces of this film that are beyond approach, a complete masterpiece by a master virtuoso.

there's a problem, however, and a big one: there's no drama in this film. there's no conflict. there's not even a story arc for the main (and practically only) character. it's just...i'm not really sure what it is, really. i really didn't get the point of it all, until daniel day-lewis revealed his soul to another character. and, to be honest, that's a cheat. you don't tell in film; you show. maybe that's anderson fighting the preconceptions. i think it's just making sense of it all, but taking the easy way out.

yes, it's a human being just being. but there's nothing for him to strive for, to overcome, to grow into. unless it completely flew past me, i found it utterly lacking from start to finish. but it didn't. i got it. he explained it to me.

it just seemed like a missed opportunity.

maybe i'm wrong.

people are going to love this movie. my two friends did. i don't think they're wrong, but i think a lot of people will love this movie because paul thomas anderson is a great filmmaker, rather than he made a great film. and other people are gonna hate this movie for the same reason they hated "punchdrunk love" - they're expecting something previous.

so color me impressed and disappointed. i know that's possible, because i am.

how you can't really beat this menu for a saturday

waking up and devouring "butch cassidy and the sundance kid" for breakfast.

then, a full helping of "stranger than fiction" for lunch.

and the always delicious "sunset boulevard" for dinner.

i'm full.

how this is a good omen for the upcoming film season

this is one of the movies i've been really looking forward to, and the first reviews of it has been glowing, although any review that says "casey affleck is a revelation" gets me scared. then again, his brother was really good in "good will hunting" and "shakespeare in love", so let's run with it.

i just read a great book about jesse james and missouri during the civil war, and it couldn't be any more fascinating. it's deep and rich and worth checking out if you have the time to get through 500 pages. but what's 500 pages when you're reading about the most famous outlaw of all time?

again, this all sounds like good stuff.