how i'm disappointed that i can't do anything as creative as the crazy

i can't believe something like this is real, but it is. a south carolina inmate (yes, inmate) has sued michael vick for, and i quote, "$63,000,000" because he claims that the embattled falcons quarterback, and i quote again, "stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy missiles from iran".

i shit you not.

oh, it gets better. please, for the love of god and all things hilarious, click on the pdf for the affidavid and read it.

and yes, i swear, this is for realz, especially the restrictions on typewriters.