my friend lauren e-mailed this to me. let each become aware.
JURY DUTY SCAM:
This has been verified by the FBI (Their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this call. Most of us take those summons for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of scam has surfaced. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo, your identity just got stolen. The scam has been reported so far in 11 states, including Oklahoma, Illinois, and Colorado . This (scam) is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully people into giving information by pretending they're with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud.
snopes.com
fbi.com
Monday, April 30, 2007
how society will be a better place now that he's been rehabilitated
you know what just made this world a little bit awesomer? everybody's favorite wife-cheating porn-making dirtball is out of jail.
suddenly, this here american united states just got ourselves a little more class.
i can't wait for the next suprise that he's got lined up for us. i'm sure it will be something progressive. maybe forging diplomacy in the middle east? curing cancer? being a big brother to handicapped orphans? being a comforting ear to terminal senior citizens? having a nice disposition?
the possibilities are endless for this jackhole. endless.
suddenly, this here american united states just got ourselves a little more class.
i can't wait for the next suprise that he's got lined up for us. i'm sure it will be something progressive. maybe forging diplomacy in the middle east? curing cancer? being a big brother to handicapped orphans? being a comforting ear to terminal senior citizens? having a nice disposition?
the possibilities are endless for this jackhole. endless.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
how nothing beats playoff time
i watched two great playoff games today in which i had rooting interest. the edge of my couch is completely worn out, and my voice left me for good sometime before dinner.
NHL: RANGERS over SABRES, 2-1 in 2OT
the rangers needed this desperately. we're just another win from tying this shindig up. it's funny how the stanley cup playoffs work: the rangers have been the better team during the past two games, but ryan miller has been insane in goal for the sabres. that's just the way the puck bounces.
this game was back-and-forth, artistic, thrilling and punishing. it's everything thats makes hockey great. and, with everything at stake, every crossing pass, every slapshot, every scrum outside the crease takes such heavy importance, and rushes your heart up your throat.
i wish the NHL could bottle stanley cup playoff games and market it throughout the season. or, better yet, just hype it up throughout the season to make it something even the casual fan would look forward to.
because, simply, it is worth looking forward to.
NBA: WARRIORS over MAVERICKS 103-99
it's amazing how, after 8 NBA seasons, dirk nowitzki has yet to grow a set.
the assumed NBA MVP plays like a scared pussycat. from fading away on all his jumpers (even from three), to passing up open shots, to hiding in the corner during crucial offensive sets and to letting drivers attack the rim unimpeded, it takes a yeoman effort to even notice that he's even on the court. and, of course, you won't find him in the paint. you can't trust him to lead a team to anything other than disappointment.
simply put, he sucks.
on the other hand, baron davis is playing like the best basketball player on the planet. and, when the point guard is playing out of his mind and is the absolute top dog on the court, he winds up making his teammates look like all-stars. he's personally responsible for this upset in the making, from his aggressiveness to power to speed to absolute daredevil attacks to the hoop and avery johnson doesn't seem to have a clue as to how to stop him (although going to a zone would be somewhat obvious). baron is everything nowitzki is not.
the mavs look like that good white suburban team playing their first game against a team from the city.
and the warriors are feasting on it.
NHL: RANGERS over SABRES, 2-1 in 2OT
the rangers needed this desperately. we're just another win from tying this shindig up. it's funny how the stanley cup playoffs work: the rangers have been the better team during the past two games, but ryan miller has been insane in goal for the sabres. that's just the way the puck bounces.
this game was back-and-forth, artistic, thrilling and punishing. it's everything thats makes hockey great. and, with everything at stake, every crossing pass, every slapshot, every scrum outside the crease takes such heavy importance, and rushes your heart up your throat.
i wish the NHL could bottle stanley cup playoff games and market it throughout the season. or, better yet, just hype it up throughout the season to make it something even the casual fan would look forward to.
because, simply, it is worth looking forward to.
NBA: WARRIORS over MAVERICKS 103-99
it's amazing how, after 8 NBA seasons, dirk nowitzki has yet to grow a set.
the assumed NBA MVP plays like a scared pussycat. from fading away on all his jumpers (even from three), to passing up open shots, to hiding in the corner during crucial offensive sets and to letting drivers attack the rim unimpeded, it takes a yeoman effort to even notice that he's even on the court. and, of course, you won't find him in the paint. you can't trust him to lead a team to anything other than disappointment.
simply put, he sucks.
on the other hand, baron davis is playing like the best basketball player on the planet. and, when the point guard is playing out of his mind and is the absolute top dog on the court, he winds up making his teammates look like all-stars. he's personally responsible for this upset in the making, from his aggressiveness to power to speed to absolute daredevil attacks to the hoop and avery johnson doesn't seem to have a clue as to how to stop him (although going to a zone would be somewhat obvious). baron is everything nowitzki is not.
the mavs look like that good white suburban team playing their first game against a team from the city.
and the warriors are feasting on it.
how i wish i were as brilliant and as funny as they are (part 24,239)
seriously, when it comes to being deadpan, intelligent and hilarious (three of my favorite things), nothing beats "the onion".
honestly, i could post this entry every single thursday, and it would always be relevant.
honestly, i could post this entry every single thursday, and it would always be relevant.
how i'm very late with this because i thought it would suck, but it didn't suck, so i suck
i just caught the saturday night live repeat with peyton manning, and it was actually hilarious.
the funny part about it is that i had no doubt that he would be funny; it's SNL that i was worried about. peyton's perfect deadpan wouldn't seem to work in sketch comedy (although it should).
but it worked.
much has been said about the united way ad spoof he was in, and yeah, it's great. but here's a great sketch from the episode, and it includes the second funniest line i've heard on television this year: "i walked around all day with sliced ham in my pants, just so i could have a secret".
it's second only to "live every week like it's shark week" by tracy jordan on "30 rock". honestly, that one is very hard to beat.
then go check out "maraka", a perfect robert smigel take on "dora the explorer". it's delightfully demented.
also, for the record, and i know that all of you have been awaiting for me to give an official ruling on this, musical guest carrie underwood has really got it going on.
like, really really really got it going on.
the funny part about it is that i had no doubt that he would be funny; it's SNL that i was worried about. peyton's perfect deadpan wouldn't seem to work in sketch comedy (although it should).
but it worked.
much has been said about the united way ad spoof he was in, and yeah, it's great. but here's a great sketch from the episode, and it includes the second funniest line i've heard on television this year: "i walked around all day with sliced ham in my pants, just so i could have a secret".
it's second only to "live every week like it's shark week" by tracy jordan on "30 rock". honestly, that one is very hard to beat.
then go check out "maraka", a perfect robert smigel take on "dora the explorer". it's delightfully demented.
also, for the record, and i know that all of you have been awaiting for me to give an official ruling on this, musical guest carrie underwood has really got it going on.
like, really really really got it going on.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
how this is strangely compelling in short bursts
the creators and star of justin.tv came by the agency today to talk about the project, how they do it, their business model and any other stuff involved in lifecasting.
hold on, steveoh. what's justin.tv? it's a mix of "the truman show" and "being john malkovich", where you can see what's going on in justin's life through a camera clipped to his baseball hat. so what's streaming on the web is what justin's looking at currently. it's on 24/7, and it's got a chat board and highlights.
unlike "the truman show", he's aware of what's going on. and unlike "being john malkovich", you can't hear internal thoughts. otherwise, it's an interesting concept - and yes, somewhat geeky.
i had no interest in them until they came to the agency and answered our questions. i was able to ask them a question (and gained my 30 seconds of fame on the internet - yet again). from that point, they were out of my mind.
until tonight, just now, at 10:50pm, when i went onto justin.tv, you know, just to see what he was doing at 10:50pm.
he was playing cards.
that is what i found interesting: seeing exactly what someone else is doing at the same exact moment. peeking into their life. trying to predict what's happening next.
it's worth checking out. and if anyone wants to place any bets, i'm game.
hold on, steveoh. what's justin.tv? it's a mix of "the truman show" and "being john malkovich", where you can see what's going on in justin's life through a camera clipped to his baseball hat. so what's streaming on the web is what justin's looking at currently. it's on 24/7, and it's got a chat board and highlights.
unlike "the truman show", he's aware of what's going on. and unlike "being john malkovich", you can't hear internal thoughts. otherwise, it's an interesting concept - and yes, somewhat geeky.
i had no interest in them until they came to the agency and answered our questions. i was able to ask them a question (and gained my 30 seconds of fame on the internet - yet again). from that point, they were out of my mind.
until tonight, just now, at 10:50pm, when i went onto justin.tv, you know, just to see what he was doing at 10:50pm.
he was playing cards.
that is what i found interesting: seeing exactly what someone else is doing at the same exact moment. peeking into their life. trying to predict what's happening next.
it's worth checking out. and if anyone wants to place any bets, i'm game.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
how you just know that the people in charge just won't be able to stop themselves
scientists have supposedly found a planet in a distant galaxy that might be hospitable for human life.
so, when our current planet drowns itself from global warming, the richest of us will at least have an alternative place to relocate to.
and the name of this place, you may ask?
581 c.
yep, you read that right.
581 c.
you know that's gonna change. there's no way we're gonna move everyone to a planet that sounds like the dewey decimal system. that just ain't sexy enough, you know?
what this means, of course, is that there's gonna be a huge bidding war over the naming rights over that planet. i mean, what corporation wouldn't want their name on a planet that is a viable refuge from the destructive causes of human beings? do you know how many units you could push with that sort of branding?
just wait. in fifty years, we'll be hearing something like "the way this global warming is happening, maybe we should buy a ticket headed for Microsoft Planet 2058 Second Edition" .
or something like "i just got an email from the rubensteins, and they just love Second Earth presented by AT&T".
or, hell, even something like "can you believe the prices for a one-way nonrefundable ticket for a flight to EyeMDLink.com Planet?"
i fear for our future.
so, when our current planet drowns itself from global warming, the richest of us will at least have an alternative place to relocate to.
and the name of this place, you may ask?
581 c.
yep, you read that right.
581 c.
you know that's gonna change. there's no way we're gonna move everyone to a planet that sounds like the dewey decimal system. that just ain't sexy enough, you know?
what this means, of course, is that there's gonna be a huge bidding war over the naming rights over that planet. i mean, what corporation wouldn't want their name on a planet that is a viable refuge from the destructive causes of human beings? do you know how many units you could push with that sort of branding?
just wait. in fifty years, we'll be hearing something like "the way this global warming is happening, maybe we should buy a ticket headed for Microsoft Planet 2058 Second Edition" .
or something like "i just got an email from the rubensteins, and they just love Second Earth presented by AT&T".
or, hell, even something like "can you believe the prices for a one-way nonrefundable ticket for a flight to EyeMDLink.com Planet?"
i fear for our future.
how i haven't done this in awhile, so here goes it
an actual e-mail taken directly from my inbox:
From:Jabu Zuma.
No.04 Chester Court, 145 Jan Smuts Ave
Ave. Opp. Goodman Gallery, Parkwood, JHB
P.O.Box1105 Saxonwold,2132.
Tel:+0027 73 310 5235.
Dear Sir,
Don't be surprised to receive this letter from me since you don't know me in person. I am MR.JABU ZUMA from Zimbabwe the first Son of Mr.NDULLOV ZUMA who was murdered in the land dispute in Zimbabwe by the agents of the ruling government of President ROBERT MUGABE, you must have heard his alleged support and sympathy for the opposition MDC PARTY led by the minority white farmers.
yes, i believed they touched on this issue during "two and a half men".
My Father was among the few black Zimbabwean rich farmers murdered in cold blood by the war veterans backed by the government. Before the death of my Father, he deposited the sum of US$21M (Twenty One Million United State Dollars) With one of the security company in Southern Africa, as if he knew the looming danger in ZIMBABWE. The money was deposited as a gem and precious stones to avoid much attraction & demurrage from the security firm. The money was earmarked for the purchase of new machinery and chemicals for the farms and the establishment of new farms in Lesotho and Swaziland before the regretted incident.
forgive me, for i was wrong, actually, sanjaya sang about this topic on "american idol" during "zimbabwe land bribery" week.
This Land problem arose when President Robert Mugabe introduced a new land act. Which wholly affects the white rich farmers and some few blacks vehemently condemned the "Modus operandi" adopted by the government.
This resulted to rampart killing and Mob actions. My mother and I are staying in South Africa now as Asylum seekers, which have not been beneficial to us; I have decided to transfer this money to a foreign country where we can invest it. I am faced with the dilemma of investing this amount of money in South Africa for fear of encountering the same experience in future since both countries have the same political policy and also law does not permit us to investment hence we’re refugees.
well, jabu zuma (may i call you "jabu"? or just "bu"? no, i shall call you "jabu")...well, jabu. that sucks for you. i can only imagine what your next step would be. possibly, you can contact a lawyer to help you extricate your finances from your former country. or you can get a jack bauer type character to enter the country with force and torture everyone who stands between you and your money. or you can sneak back in, ask for your cash in 21 individual million dollar bills, nonchalantly put them into your wallet and walk out like you just put your hands in the air and you just don't care. or, now humor me for a moment, you can also contact a writer based out in san francisco via e-mail, a perfect stranger if you will, and ask him for his help.
nah, that's stupid.
I must let you know that this business is 100% risk free and the nature of your business does not necessarily matter, you can help us if you wish. I and my family have agreed to give you 15% of the total 21M, 5% will be mapped out for all expenses that maybe incurred during the transfer and 80% will be for me and my family’s investment in your country.
dude, i was joking about the last option. seriously, get jack. he's only 5'6". nobody will see him.
Therefore if you are willing and interested to render the needed assistance, endeavor to reply through my mums private call her Lady. Marikave Zuma for more brief clarifications.
whoa...hold on a second. you want me to contact your mum's private? well, this took a turn to the kinky. and she named it "Lady Marikave Zuma"? dude, your mom's into some nasty stuff. and you seem to be a benefactor to all this. you, my friend, have issues you need to deal with.
not that this has to do with anything, but...is your mum hot?
I also need your private mobile, telephone and fax numbers for easy communication. Remember; this is highly confidential and the success of this business depends on how secret it is kept. Expecting your reply soonest.
if this were really highly confidential, we wouldn't be talking to each other through a private mobile, telephone or fax number.
like i said before, you really need jack bauer for this.
Best regards,
MR.JABU ZUMA (FOR THE FAMILY)
word to your mother.
From:Jabu Zuma.
No.04 Chester Court, 145 Jan Smuts Ave
Ave. Opp. Goodman Gallery, Parkwood, JHB
P.O.Box1105 Saxonwold,2132.
Tel:+0027 73 310 5235.
Dear Sir,
Don't be surprised to receive this letter from me since you don't know me in person. I am MR.JABU ZUMA from Zimbabwe the first Son of Mr.NDULLOV ZUMA who was murdered in the land dispute in Zimbabwe by the agents of the ruling government of President ROBERT MUGABE, you must have heard his alleged support and sympathy for the opposition MDC PARTY led by the minority white farmers.
yes, i believed they touched on this issue during "two and a half men".
My Father was among the few black Zimbabwean rich farmers murdered in cold blood by the war veterans backed by the government. Before the death of my Father, he deposited the sum of US$21M (Twenty One Million United State Dollars) With one of the security company in Southern Africa, as if he knew the looming danger in ZIMBABWE. The money was deposited as a gem and precious stones to avoid much attraction & demurrage from the security firm. The money was earmarked for the purchase of new machinery and chemicals for the farms and the establishment of new farms in Lesotho and Swaziland before the regretted incident.
forgive me, for i was wrong, actually, sanjaya sang about this topic on "american idol" during "zimbabwe land bribery" week.
This Land problem arose when President Robert Mugabe introduced a new land act. Which wholly affects the white rich farmers and some few blacks vehemently condemned the "Modus operandi" adopted by the government.
This resulted to rampart killing and Mob actions. My mother and I are staying in South Africa now as Asylum seekers, which have not been beneficial to us; I have decided to transfer this money to a foreign country where we can invest it. I am faced with the dilemma of investing this amount of money in South Africa for fear of encountering the same experience in future since both countries have the same political policy and also law does not permit us to investment hence we’re refugees.
well, jabu zuma (may i call you "jabu"? or just "bu"? no, i shall call you "jabu")...well, jabu. that sucks for you. i can only imagine what your next step would be. possibly, you can contact a lawyer to help you extricate your finances from your former country. or you can get a jack bauer type character to enter the country with force and torture everyone who stands between you and your money. or you can sneak back in, ask for your cash in 21 individual million dollar bills, nonchalantly put them into your wallet and walk out like you just put your hands in the air and you just don't care. or, now humor me for a moment, you can also contact a writer based out in san francisco via e-mail, a perfect stranger if you will, and ask him for his help.
nah, that's stupid.
I must let you know that this business is 100% risk free and the nature of your business does not necessarily matter, you can help us if you wish. I and my family have agreed to give you 15% of the total 21M, 5% will be mapped out for all expenses that maybe incurred during the transfer and 80% will be for me and my family’s investment in your country.
dude, i was joking about the last option. seriously, get jack. he's only 5'6". nobody will see him.
Therefore if you are willing and interested to render the needed assistance, endeavor to reply through my mums private call her Lady. Marikave Zuma for more brief clarifications.
whoa...hold on a second. you want me to contact your mum's private? well, this took a turn to the kinky. and she named it "Lady Marikave Zuma"? dude, your mom's into some nasty stuff. and you seem to be a benefactor to all this. you, my friend, have issues you need to deal with.
not that this has to do with anything, but...is your mum hot?
I also need your private mobile, telephone and fax numbers for easy communication. Remember; this is highly confidential and the success of this business depends on how secret it is kept. Expecting your reply soonest.
if this were really highly confidential, we wouldn't be talking to each other through a private mobile, telephone or fax number.
like i said before, you really need jack bauer for this.
Best regards,
MR.JABU ZUMA (FOR THE FAMILY)
word to your mother.
Monday, April 23, 2007
how i'm not really sure what this is except hilarious
my friend phil sent me this short film called "the landlord" starring will ferrell from a new website called "funny or die".
it made me laugh my own personal afro off.
okay, nothing will make my afro fall off. but still...damn funny.
it made me laugh my own personal afro off.
okay, nothing will make my afro fall off. but still...damn funny.
how jack bauer no longer has anything on arthur fonzarelli
it truly pains me to say that "24" has not only just jumped the shark, but it also unearthed a secret file about it, forced it to tender its resignation, then bungled its transfer of nuclear specifiations.
i can't wait for next season, just because i don't want to watch any more of this season. it just keeps getting worse.
i can't wait for next season, just because i don't want to watch any more of this season. it just keeps getting worse.
how if you haven't watched "the sopranos" yet, then you should probably skip this part
what an awesome episode that was last night. that makes three great episodes this season.
first bacala is in question, then christaphuh and now paulie - and all this as phil builds power in new york.
first tony questions his own vulnerability, then his own leadership, and now his place in an ever-changing world.
just awesome awesome awesome stuff, an absolute pinnacle in psychological storytelling.
and it's gonna make for some brutal whacking.
first bacala is in question, then christaphuh and now paulie - and all this as phil builds power in new york.
first tony questions his own vulnerability, then his own leadership, and now his place in an ever-changing world.
just awesome awesome awesome stuff, an absolute pinnacle in psychological storytelling.
and it's gonna make for some brutal whacking.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
how i may or may not be finally home
after boarding no less than thirteen different airplanes during the past six weeks, i think i might actually have a little time home. that means, of course, my couch would have to stop looking at my ass like it were some sort of mysterious stranger.
yeah, it's good to be back here.
and, considering that all this travelling has gotten me out of sorts, i need to get back on my usual schedule and get some life back into this road weary soul.
here's a good start. not saying i'm hitting all of these, but...any takers?
Fri 04/27/07 - Johnette Napolitano @ Cafe Du Nord
Thu 05/03/07 - The Old 97's @ The Fillmore
Wed 05/09/07 - The Fratellis @ The Fillmore
Sat 05/12/07 - Steven Wright @ The Warfield Theatre
Sat 06/09/07 - The Devil Makes Three@ The Great American Music Hall
Sat 06/23/07 - Lisa Lampanelli @ The Warfield Theatre
Fri 07/20/07 - Dolores O'Riordan @ The Fillmore
yeah, it's good to be back here.
and, considering that all this travelling has gotten me out of sorts, i need to get back on my usual schedule and get some life back into this road weary soul.
here's a good start. not saying i'm hitting all of these, but...any takers?
Fri 04/27/07 - Johnette Napolitano @ Cafe Du Nord
Thu 05/03/07 - The Old 97's @ The Fillmore
Wed 05/09/07 - The Fratellis @ The Fillmore
Sat 05/12/07 - Steven Wright @ The Warfield Theatre
Sat 06/09/07 - The Devil Makes Three@ The Great American Music Hall
Sat 06/23/07 - Lisa Lampanelli @ The Warfield Theatre
Fri 07/20/07 - Dolores O'Riordan @ The Fillmore
Saturday, April 21, 2007
how los angeles is full of douchebags
nothing really else to add to this. just wanted to post a true statement.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
how i felt guilty
i was watching "countdown with keith olbermann" about the horrifying virginia tech massacre, and he had on some reporter who was on scene. the reporter was giving an update/recap on what had happened while giving his insights and opinions.
it was probably a very good report. unfortunately, i can't comment on it.
you see, this reporter had the very common vocal quirk of saying "awwh" or "ummm" after every fourth or fifth word.
but his "awwh" or "ummm" sounded exactly like a horn honking.
or a game show buzzer indicating that you're wrong.
or a clown's foot being stepped on.
or an orgasmic donkey in the moment.
i tried to listen to what he was saying, but all i heard were the noises he was making. nonstop. for a good five minutes. and, after a hard battle, i laughed. i tried not to, but i laughed. not at what he was reporting, but at his nasal nervous cacophony.
dammit.
dear msnbc: please don't put this reporter on the scene of something so horrible again. you made me feel guilty. and i know i'm not alone.
it was probably a very good report. unfortunately, i can't comment on it.
you see, this reporter had the very common vocal quirk of saying "awwh" or "ummm" after every fourth or fifth word.
but his "awwh" or "ummm" sounded exactly like a horn honking.
or a game show buzzer indicating that you're wrong.
or a clown's foot being stepped on.
or an orgasmic donkey in the moment.
i tried to listen to what he was saying, but all i heard were the noises he was making. nonstop. for a good five minutes. and, after a hard battle, i laughed. i tried not to, but i laughed. not at what he was reporting, but at his nasal nervous cacophony.
dammit.
dear msnbc: please don't put this reporter on the scene of something so horrible again. you made me feel guilty. and i know i'm not alone.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
how i've been rethinking lyrics
i always love it when i go to a wedding and they play "every breath you take", thinking it's a love song when it's actually about stalking. and, after i read that "american girl" is actually (and obviously) about a girl trying to commit suicide, i've become obsessed about really listening to lyrics.
i should have always been doing this.
anyway, on my flight from cleveland to chicago to san francisco, i kept my ipod on and checked out some new stuff i downloaded - some of which were performances from the bridge school concert. one song, in particular, i played over and over because i just couldn't figure the lyrics out.
check them out. it's for the classic song "alison" by elvis costello.
i've come up with two different interpretations, one of which was actually corroborated.
first interpretation:
alison is the girl he pined for when they were both much younger, but he never did anything about it.
I'm not going to get too sentimental
like those other sticky valentines,
'cause I don't know if you are loving some body.
I only know it isn't mine.
she wound up marrying one of his friends, and he lost touch with her. anyway he sees her out somewhere, and she looks completely unhappy. and he's just there, staring at her, convincing himself that she would have been so much happier if their destinies aligned.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.
all that seems literal, yes. but here's the thing: i think the lyrics are all happening in his mind as he watches her. he doesn't make any contact with her. it's all in the tone. it's not really conversational. it seems almost too smarky for him to tell her this when she already has a pissed off look on her face. i just think it's that moment of time that he's savoring and living in his imagination. it's what he would say if he had the balls to go through with it.
or maybe not.
second interpretation:
alison has a kid.
I heard you let that little friend of mine
take off your party dress
that's her regrettable entry into motherhood. she has a husband now, but they're now at the end of the road. why?
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say.
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i think the child belongs to elvis. and she's married to a man who realizes that he's now the father of someone else's kid. and she knows it, and she's calling elvis out on this. but elvis wants nothing to do with her and the kid.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true
you see, it's not him saying that his love is true. his denials are adding into her pain. he knows it, and he's not stopping.
someone else also was sick enough to have this interpretation. so i think this interpretation has some weight to it. granted, that weight has a flabby midsection.
i should have always been doing this.
anyway, on my flight from cleveland to chicago to san francisco, i kept my ipod on and checked out some new stuff i downloaded - some of which were performances from the bridge school concert. one song, in particular, i played over and over because i just couldn't figure the lyrics out.
check them out. it's for the classic song "alison" by elvis costello.
i've come up with two different interpretations, one of which was actually corroborated.
first interpretation:
alison is the girl he pined for when they were both much younger, but he never did anything about it.
I'm not going to get too sentimental
like those other sticky valentines,
'cause I don't know if you are loving some body.
I only know it isn't mine.
she wound up marrying one of his friends, and he lost touch with her. anyway he sees her out somewhere, and she looks completely unhappy. and he's just there, staring at her, convincing himself that she would have been so much happier if their destinies aligned.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.
all that seems literal, yes. but here's the thing: i think the lyrics are all happening in his mind as he watches her. he doesn't make any contact with her. it's all in the tone. it's not really conversational. it seems almost too smarky for him to tell her this when she already has a pissed off look on her face. i just think it's that moment of time that he's savoring and living in his imagination. it's what he would say if he had the balls to go through with it.
or maybe not.
second interpretation:
alison has a kid.
I heard you let that little friend of mine
take off your party dress
that's her regrettable entry into motherhood. she has a husband now, but they're now at the end of the road. why?
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say.
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, i think the child belongs to elvis. and she's married to a man who realizes that he's now the father of someone else's kid. and she knows it, and she's calling elvis out on this. but elvis wants nothing to do with her and the kid.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true
you see, it's not him saying that his love is true. his denials are adding into her pain. he knows it, and he's not stopping.
someone else also was sick enough to have this interpretation. so i think this interpretation has some weight to it. granted, that weight has a flabby midsection.
how i spent my time in cleveland
people call cleveland "the mistake by the lake". it is no mistake. it is actually a city full of beautiful gothic buildings. it just so happens to be right by a lake.
that being said, there was nothing to do there. and the food left taste to be desired.
but that's okay. i wasn't in cleveland for any of that. but i did find an incredible treasure.
the following are camera photos of the cleveland arcade which absolutely took my breath away. i stumbled into it just to escape from the cold, but got so much more. it's actually a part of the hyatt regency, and the shops are relatively nonexistant. if i were ever to go to cleveland again, i'd do my best to stay here. it's that gorgeous.
or course, right after i left the arcade, i saw this ad on this bus, and it left me with such a horrible image with my mind.
yep. it says "like richard simmons, minus those shorts".
stupid cleveland.
that being said, there was nothing to do there. and the food left taste to be desired.
but that's okay. i wasn't in cleveland for any of that. but i did find an incredible treasure.
the following are camera photos of the cleveland arcade which absolutely took my breath away. i stumbled into it just to escape from the cold, but got so much more. it's actually a part of the hyatt regency, and the shops are relatively nonexistant. if i were ever to go to cleveland again, i'd do my best to stay here. it's that gorgeous.
or course, right after i left the arcade, i saw this ad on this bus, and it left me with such a horrible image with my mind.
yep. it says "like richard simmons, minus those shorts".
stupid cleveland.
Friday, April 13, 2007
how i will never do crystal meth in montana
here's the tv spots for the montana crystal meth foundation to get kids off the drug. originally, they were just radio spots, but then a random billionaire learned about them (i think larry ellison) and then gave them a million dollars (!!!) and they hired darren aronofksy ("requiem for a dream", "the fountain", "pi") to direct tv spots instead.
they are harrowing and haunting and emotional and brilliant.
my friend susan produced these.
warning: they are tough.
they are harrowing and haunting and emotional and brilliant.
my friend susan produced these.
warning: they are tough.
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